what have I been doing...

well, beside working, and sleeping and reading and watching dvds, what do i do?

what have I been doing?

is this my life?

August 30, 23:33 WIB

hemm...
The picture is taken in Bali. the date was between 23-26 of august 2008.
Fun, happy, refreshing, crazy, extatic, but also hollow...

I need to get away from time to time...
not always have to be far away, but just some time to think.

Today, I've learn about coordinating....
making plans with friend is nice, but people have their own characters.
Some people will go with the flow, others need to have a fixed plan, other stick to their limit, or exceed their potential...

well, that what makes us think and learn and grow....

so next stop,
do things for others...

niki out

just the thing I need

everything seems to go out, out of order, out of place, out of control.

is it just me, who has been doing too little to upgrade myself, or is it a sign, for me to do something about everything, instead of nothing.

why is it that every single thing that i do seems to have no good result.

I feel like running away, just like i always do.

Can't really do that anymore.

I feel that I will perish, if I don't do something about it.
What is I am talking about really?

my life?

I'm really not quiet sure.

I should restart, reboot, reinstall myself.

At this point, that is what I am thinking.

I once said that I am a lost soul.
right now, I feel like a tiny speck, with no destination, nothing to hold on to,
nothing to look up to.

what should I refer to so that I can pull myself together?

I have been thinking too much and too little,
and now, have been doing shit about my life.

Well then, what I can do right now is jump ship.
hahaha....

do I look like I need a break?
Or am I too exaggerating?

21:58 WIB
Niki out

atmosphere

We, people, have a thing about places.

Examples: I have places to go for my sanctuary, I don't know if it's out of habits, coziness, the spirits within, or the atmosphere.

But it happens.

My favorite places are:

1. the coral reefs
2. my high school chapel
3. the open nature
4. my parents room
5. and others yet to be found..

I will find out, if its the smell, or the air, or whatever that is that makes us comfortable and feel safe with these places.

I bet we can make other places that we don't like, into a comfortable place, if we know, the secret of sanctuary.

August 12, 2008
14:43 WIB
niki out.

new eye

July 16, 2008

Two weeks after I bought this new Lomography Camera, The Fisheye no. 2.

heve been taking pictures with it, and enjoying it.

A new Eye, after the Frogeye that took me to singapore just to get it, with benefits that is.

So, a new hobby, a little late?
don't think so. Just have to make the best of it.

21:55 WIB
Niki out

and we were kings and queens

Just when everything seems to go wrong, it turns out that, it doesn't

Life is always a surprise, at least that is how i see it.
Things can become very predictable, or it could be very abstract.

we don't know where we will be in the future... but we can make our way to something that makes us smile, makes us happy, makes us feel alive.

Even in this black and white picture, you can see that, we still have and can express our emotion, our dreams, our style.

and what will people say?

Tuesday 16:44 wib
Niki out

saturday night and I'm broke

Well, if you have seen the photo, and have identified where I've been,
with my monthly salary, you can consider myself as almost broke.
but then again, I'm still living, having a great time, and been growing
and thinking since that picture was taken.

And to tell you the truth, my life, have changed or it will change.
I will take another way to get to somewhere I really belong.

Still have no clue, but now, I will JUMP. LEAP.
to ensure my future, and be someone.

Saturday 07.06.2008
21.25 wib
Niki Out

Wednesday Payday

Have you ever been in a situation that you know what to do, but when do moment really comes, you just stuck.
And then people with similar problems comes to you and you knew exactly what to say..

But today is payday for me, and time to pay some debts and manage my money so I won't end up broke and sorry...
hahaha...

on relationship

it's may.
been going out for about two months.
and having some new problems

not to big or complicated,
but still
annoying.

so I have been dating this girl, she's in college, undergraduate,
an active person, she plays hockey, she's into campus organization,
she's into religious organization, she had tons of assignment,
and a very protective parents.

no problem whatsoever,
at first.
Well that's what I thought.

But then, we sort of having trouble coping with each others situation.

we don't get out a lot.
we don't really talk that much (well she talk and i listened, sort of)

and she's keeps whining about how things are hard on her.
the parents.
the studies.
the whole activities.

So, I tried giving her advices or different point of view.

And she thinks I'm not supporting her.

We dated for two months and I don't see us making a significant progress.

So, what is wrong?

maybe a trip somewhere alone would do the trick.
It's just that, it's kinda hard for her to make time.
Well, that's what i thought.

anyway, this and that,
maybe we'll talk and try to see the real picture.

14:58 WIB

niki out

too late for new year ya?

This is my post from another blog, just like to share it to you all.

I have often write something, and forgot it on the next day,
so this is also to refresh my memory.

Anyways, I had a surprising experience a couple days ago.
I've learned that people are sometime more than meets the eye, and
you can't always see everything from one point of view,
but well, there goes..

here it is,
20 april 2008, niki out.

December 31, 2007

2008 here we come, godspeed to you all!!

31 desember 2007, 11:50 WIB

Hari ini gue mau pakai bahasa indonesia aja.

Hari terakhir tahun ini, 2007. tidak terasa ya? atau terasa sekali?
Silakan putuskan sendiri.
Buat gue, tahun ini merupakan tahun yang baik, banyak perubahan terjadi dalam
hidup gue. Semua bergerak ke arah yang lebih baik (hampir semua kali ya...)

Untuk tahun yang akan datang, apa yang akan gue lakukan ya?

Yang pasti terus berkarya, terus menjalani hidup, dan tetap berusaha mengejar
mimpi gue, o iya satu lagi, menjadi orang yang lebih baik, lebih peduli sama diri
sendiri, sama orang lain, sama lingkungan. heheh...oke tuh.

Sudah bosan blum bacanya?

Okeh, selanjutnya.
Gue mau masukin kata-kata yang gue dapet selama beberapa bulan ini, baik dari gue sendiri, ataupun dari orang-orang lain.

Bahasa inggris gapapa yah...
This is about relationship.
1. You're stuck with someone when you think he/she needs you more than you could handle.
2. If you give too much, people will expect more and more
3. YOU have a Life of your Own. It's a blessing to make someone live beside you.
4. Eventually, someone will come along the way and walk with you, till the end of the road.

These are for self improvement.
1. Stop saying you can't, say you'll try.
2. When you're angry, settle it with yourself or do complain about it, but in a way that won't annoy people you're with.
3. Focus on the things you're doing, and make decision on what's on your top priority.
4. When you want something, put it on your mind (Dhamar said that to me).

5. Listen, even when you don't think about it, someday you will.
6.Even when you don't mean it when you say something, IT will still stick in your mind.
6. Keep your words.
7. Get out of yourself sometime, see from another point of view.
8. Don't push too hard, nurture and do it gradually.

Satu dari Jalu.
- Daripada mikirin negara, lebih baik mikirin diri sendiri dulu.
(jangan selalu mikirin yang besar dan melupakan hal-hal kecil)

Ada lagi.
- Smile more, Think less, and be Positive.
- When you feel like you're dying, just get up and face one more day.

Baiklah, cukup sekian dulu untuk kata-kata yang semoga bermanfaat untuk kehidupan kita sekarang dan ke depan.

Silakan berkomentar.
Supaya ga pinter sendiri.

Selamat berakhir tahun dan memulai tahun yang baru dengan senyum merekah dan hati yang bersih, penuh harapan akan kebaikan dan keberhasilan.

Kapan ya gue ke eropa? :p
Niki
31 Desember 2007, 13.23 WIB

Bersambung...

print0013ly7.jpg hosted at ImageShack.us

Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

on religious view

I have become.

more and more skeptical on this subject.

Just read Dawkins's "GOD delusion"
Very inspiring book.
Don't really want to swallow it whole, but it just so happen that, lately, I'm sick of this mumbo jumbo stuff people say about GOD and SIN.

Maybe, yeah maybe, I have read some books that provoke me to think like this.

The "HIS DARK MATERIALS" trilogy (Golden compass, etc.)
But really, people have become too religious and decreasing their care for nature.
We have become too human to care about 'non-human' organisms in this constantly smaller earth that we live in.


We have so much to think about, so the first thing and the most important thing to do is to reassured that our passport to the eternal life doesn't expire.
Well, people can think about what they want. I don't care.
I'm just trying to be logical. I do have my dreams, and my imaginations. Do I have to have a shared imagination of heaven and hell? Like they exist.

heheh...

So, anyway.
Life still go on.
And I still want to see the world.

Can I?

19:50 WIB
niki out

of indonesia, and its richness

30 March 2008.

I went to a marine and diving exhibition. And was surprise by the big tank in front of the building. No no, if you're thinking of a big war vehicle with barrel to shoot missile, that's not it. It's a big water tank with people in it. For show? Guess again. crash course of diving. Cool, eh? or should I say, poor them..
Well then, I went inside, and there were many stands selling underwater stuffs, mask, snorkel, diving set, underwater photography equipment, wetsuit, outdoor gear, diving engine, and fishing equipments.

What else?


There were also tour package from the tourism board of many part of indonesia, including indonesia provinces that have undiscovered beauty and need some attention, or do they?

besides that, of course there are seminars, and movie watching, photo exhibition, and poster competition.

All of those wonders... we have it all in our own country (for indonesian) and do we care?
Oh yes, very much. We care enough to exploit them, that much is true.

Am I bullshitting you?

No siree...

But am I being to sarcastic?
And am I being a hypocrite?
Maybe..

I am way far from doing anything good for the sake of our beloved earth, especially for the sake of the beautiful and enchanting coral reef of indonesia.
I haven't even see most of them. Because like other indonesian, we haven't gotten anywhere trough parts of indonesia, even when we have lived forever in this land of water.

so how do we do it?

20.00 WIB
niki out

murky march

12 march 2008, 19:03 WIB

welcome again my faithful readers,
to the minds of a lunatic biologist who works in a graphic design agency..

first of all,
I would like to say that right now, my mind has no such control for order in chronological means. So I will write randomly about anything, anything that comes into my mind at this very moment, and hopefully it will not screw up you beautiful day.

Okay then, lets start.
it's rainy season, and I have a damp room, full of dirty laundry that i kept forgetting to wash and or send to the nearest laundry.
To add the effect, I have not been very punctual at the moment, having trouble getting up early (actually no trouble, but I tend to prolonged my sleeping time after the alarm went off)
But luckily, all the things (or is it just me) seems to move along with me on thus rather slow movement.
Maybe it's the rainy season.

Since I got a new bike (as in bicycle not motorbike) I've been going around and about on it.
Quite tiring, and fun, and save me some money and time, and since it's vintage, from time to time people start looking at me and my bike. Sometimes they frown, sometime they looked with awe, sometime they smile, but that's all ok for me.

the job.
Not getting any easier, but nothing that I couldn't handle, because we do are constantly learning. kinda hectic, but just trying to keep enjoying and think positive and make it fun. So far nothing really stressed me out, or at least not for long.

Friends.
been meeting some old ones, and new ones.
both is good, and broadening my view of life (am I getting too boring?)

And so, what is next?
For me, my life, my family, my friends, my extra friends, my colleagues, my associates, haha...
Let me give a deep thought on that.
and get back to you, my faithful readers, when i had the time to write in in this digital log.

it's late, and I have an appointment,
so I'm off.

Thanks.
19:25 WIB
Niki Out

week ends

14 march 2008, 16:41

have i become one of those worker ant who get up every morning and do some heavy work all day and went home exhausted and rest and clean up the mess i had when the week ends?

Maybe i have.

is this how it supposed to be?

this week have been a busy one. not that I'm complaining or anything.
It's just that I get home all tired up and doing nothing productive for anything else.
And I haven't really settle in my new place. Maybe that is why.

So anyway, it is friday now, and I'm going to play pool with my friends, and well, maybe that is one of my escape time. and i need to draw and write more.
Instead of just typing here.

Am I being complicated?

Maybe..

16:49
Niki Out.

after sunset

11.03.08 13:46 WIB

back from the island, people say i looked like a mess..
why?
I don't know.
maybe just tired.
or haven't got enough fun i wanted.
But hey...
happy enough to get out of the city and do stuff
so maybe I'm just tired.
But happy, but sick, and happy still.

chaos in my mind

Ah don't actually feel any chaos or disturbance in my mind or body, just making an extreme title so people will read it. hahaha....

everything in my life seems to be uncertain. is it?
maybe it's just because I made it that way ya?
well, all in all. I'm so grateful that now I can almost say I can live by my own.
Not that it's too late or too soon, because I am at age.
Come to think of it, I do waste a lot of my time doing unimportant stuff and procrastinating
all the things that I'm suppose to be doing.

So....
Here's what.
Till the end of this year, I promise myself, that I will have backup plans for my future life.
Not too much, but has to be something.

my first plan is....
get my own bicycle.
and get another cheap place to live.
And save some money.

and then I will think of the next step, next time I post.

That's all for today.

11:49 AM WIB
Niki out

my new blog

my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog my new blog
Hehehe....