sakuran

its 3:45 AM and I'm listening to the soundtrack of the movie Sakuran, suddenly imagining anna tsuchiya with her big eyes and round face...
haven't been writing much in this tiny blog I have.
so here goes...
what am I thinking and or doing lately?
have I lived my live well enough?
all this questions never fail to flash in my mind ever so often this pass few days.
I get bored easily, I have nothing in focus, and even the pictures I took is not so good (what's this got to do?)

I've been working like a dumb mule lately, and also not getting anything from it (apart from monthly bases salary, that is), felt like I need to break free... is it just me dreaming too big? or is it actually a problem that I have to find solution soon enough before it's entirely too big to handle?

I can see some opportunities coming down my way, and I will try my best to take it.
Ready or not, I'm gonna go for it.
if not this then something else.
I just have to get it now or I might burst out real soon.

is this so typical of me? dodging out on the hard part?

well, like a good friend of mine use to say, "won't know untill you try it out."
simply that...

just don't get dragged away too far with things that will kill your soul, or at least your energy...
I'm still claiming abstinence on believing that we have soul or not, but we do have our own passion for destruction and construction of our whole life.
Either that, or we are going to live in vain.

I don't aim for divine purpose as in going to heaven or being a saint, but I will try and keep trying my best to be one of the grain of sands that forms the beach and ocean floors.

for that I will live.
I won't be the goldfish in the bowl.