Trustday

Two thousand thirteen, january, tenth. Siwa Ratri Day.
It is a holy day in Bali, the day where Balinese Hindu pray and practice jagra and upawasa, the act of staying awake and fasting in order to remember what they have done wrong in the past, and repent in the future. This ritual goes way back to the epoch time when a hunter was sitting on top of a 'bila' tree, picking leaves and dropping it to the pond below, while reminiscing his past life, unknowing that the pond is am offering spot for the god Siwa.

I named today as trustday, because we are just one of the children of the earth, and we live among others, good and bad, honest and liars. In order to get thru the day, we need to have faith and be positive, while trying our best.

Two thousand twelve, December, twenty-fourth, Amed village - Karangasem, Bali.

We were staying at Jemeluk Cove, a snorkeling day trip that got extended into an overnight stay. Climbing up the hill, seeing the night view of the cove, we talked about how different can happiness be. Going away from the busy city of Denpasar, the air and the mood is different. You can sense how mellow and laidback the people are at this area. Not to mention that the view is great. The next morning was snorkeling time. Just 50-100 meters from the shore, we were dazzled by the richness of the coral reefs, with fishes, big and small. She is uncomfortable in the water, but not for long. We enjoyed the water, and the view underwater.
The next stop was a lighthouse, 40 meters above the ground, located on the easternmost of Bali. Scared of heights is a factor, but we manage to overcome it and got a great view of the vast horizon.

It was quite a trip, with talks all the way, plans and dreams involved. Also some emotional fit. A smile got through and melt it all away. I come to a conclusion, that I would love to travel near and far, with her as a companion.

Relax, Take it Easy

Two Thousand Twelve, December, Thirteenth, Wifi Hotspot.

I just booked a flight with a little help from her. I got a little hesitated, maybe because I haven't had any dinner yet. Crankiness does come with lack of nutrition (or Oxygen) to the brain. It's settled now. I'm departing at the end of the month. Though I don't know how I will spend those days, but all is well.

I think lack of blogging for the last few weeks makes me lose my train of thoughts. I have been procrastinating again. And for the last time, I have to start again, not from scratch, but still gathering my scattered thoughts. It's been a quite interesting month, from the last time I wrote something here. I won't mention it all here, maybe just some highlights would do.

First, I have made some improvements in the terms of being easy. Easygoing, easy on taking matters at hand, easy on the dark side of myself. Things got more cheerful and exciting. I went to do some volunteer in Kintamani, I do some stuffs with her, and when I'm not, I do some other stuffs and make things worth while. I also manage to get my clothes tailored, got my bike fixed, and went to a museum. I changed my old blog and filled it with doodles.

What else? I managed to say things that I thought I couldn't say to her, and that felt good, for I am extending myself to let her know what I feel, on most occasion.

Let us go back a bit then.

Two Thousand Twelve, July, Seventh, Kuta Beach.

We met earlier at one of the fast food chain restaurant in Kuta, and from there, we went to the beach. Got some dinner earlier, and went to see baby sea turtles hatching, it was the Olive Ridley Sea Turtles (Lepidochelys olivacea) and then we also went to the newest mall in Kuta Beach, just walking on the beach against the night wind, the air was chilly, and it was great.

We walk quite a bit. Enjoying the night exercise we're having without worrying about anything else. Oh, yeah I just lost my phone a couple of days back, but I also got myself a new glasses. I'm not worried about losing the phone, just that it would be a major drawback in terms of updating stuffs for the sake of work and all.

As I wondered, things seems easier back then, not a lot of mind was involved, just enjoying every moments that passes. Then again, we do have to stop a bit and think. And then go again from that point. Like a baby sea turtles fighting his/her way to reach the sea and survive for hundreds of years, things all have it courses.
I am glad, that life has take me from one point to another, whilst keeping the smile on my face, and spread it to others. as I said before to her, I like the way she smile, and then, I like the way we smile.

That's it for tonight.
I want to write more. later.

Rain and Shine

Two Thousand Twelve, November, Twenty second, Afternoon at the office.
After taking a trip going through the rain, and then going back with the sun heating me up, not to mention lack of sleep yesterday night for no reason. My head is now spinning. I got some work done, so not all is in vain. This morning is my "debut" (as my colleague call it) as a voice talent in a radio show. what else is interesting today? Let's see... I finally wear my RED raincoat/poncho in the rain, over my RED Hoody. I wish the rain would last longer, I miss it. The air is now humid and kinda heavily suffocating. Planning on a date tonight, it's Noodle Time... hehehe... Earthquake!!!

Oh okay, it just happen when i was writing there was an earthquake, quite a jolt, after an up and down movement, followed by a more distinguished shaking, everyone in the office start running outside.

Back to me.
Two Thousand Twelve, June, Thirtieth, noon. Kuta.
I am staying in a hotel tonight, got a room for the weekend. this is weird. I don't know what to do in this fancy hotel besides rolling around in the king size bed. too lazy to take a dip in the swimming pool. I invited her to drop by. we talked, and awkwardly got closer. This is the weirdest scene I have ever experienced, because I know we had something, but I'm not sure about anything, and I'm just trying to improvise. The end of June, and the beginning of something I have no idea what, but I'm intrigued, and excited (both physically and mentally) This is the beginning of something I would call, "Rain and Shine" because roller coaster ride is just too mainstream. heheh...

More to come.

Stop Being Afraid, Keep Moving

I have just read about this post in Thoughtcatalog.com. on things we should stop doing in our 20s.
It's kinda late for that, but well, I can still relate to it.

Tonight, I will try to expand my writing while still focusing on the things I am constantly writing from the beginning of this month. Nothing too big, one step at a time, just to make my mind keep on moving.



Two Thousand Twelve, June, Twenty Fourth, Nusa Lembongan, After Midnight.
It's Sunday, the day only had just turned, cold air biting my skins. It was a wonderful day. Started really early in the Saturday morning; with shorts and jacket, I raced my motorbike to a place in Sanur. I felt that Denpasar is freezing that morning, or is it just me that never woke up that early?

So back to the night, and thinking about the day that has just passed, quite a journey we've been through. A boat trip from Sanur To Nusa Penida, a round trip around the island visiting two temples, new experience on the religious and cultural side of Balinese Hinduism. I joined the ritual, barely. Just mimicking the steps and movements of the people around and try to meditate and concentrate as much as I can.

Another boat trip to the adjacent island of Lembongan, or Nusa Lembongan. It's a smaller private chartered boat, compared to the speedboat we took from Sanur. The view was wonderful, the water between the islands are calm, mirror-like. This just soothes my eyes and head. besides the fact that I am having a vacation with her and her friends. the ride lasted for maybe fifteen minutes, and we arrived at the bridge that connect Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan. We walked from there, not knowing that the cottage we were about to spend the night in was on the other side of the island, quite a long walk. being all cheerful and adventurous, we just kept on walking until finally arrived to the place. freshen up a bit, and tried to catch the sunset.

After dinner, we all went to the beach. Talking, watching the stars, me and her stayed behind. It was awkward, all our body languages are giving positive signs, we just didn't make any subtle move. we talked and talked and looked at each others, and at the stars, counting meteorites (or shooting stars, if you want to called it that) while lying on the sands. Finally succumbing to the cold night wind, we went back to the cottages. After getting in to the room, we went out again and talk some more in the porch. I felt that nice warm feeling in your stomach and chest, and the feeling that you just want to keep talking and being with each other and stop the time altogether. And then we turn in.

Two Thousand Twelve, October, Twenty Fourth, After midnight. My place.
I'm just finishing drawing Acup earlier, halloween episode. I have been neglecting him for some time now. Today was a good day, I did some work, went to dinner with my family before they get back to the hometown in Jakarta, and getting high on monosodium glutamate, I got a fifteen minutes nap. after that, I bought coffee and make a cup for myself. I got reminded about doing things that I should not have to be reminded about, but yeah I need to get myself up and do less procrastinating for the near future. Referring again to the post on thoughtcatalog.com, starting from myself is always the best thing I can do, before even doing anything with other people, not to mention her. Not to get anymore further on the topic, I am getting all pumped up on the idea that I can show my  potentials to other people and get more self-motivated and self esteem.

Just some random thoughts,
I think I have gone a full circle on alphabetical terms.
Back to A means, when I met you, it's time for me to start anew :)

It Was an Evening I Shared With The Sun

"It was an evening I shared with the sun, to find out where we belong, from the earliest day, we were dancing in the shadows." Lakini's Juice from Live blaring on my headphone. Catching the scattered words and memories from the past, tonight I'm going to write just that.

Two Thousand Twelve, June, Fourth, early evening, Lingkara.
She sends me some cookies through her friend, noting that it was for me only. It happened after we chat about me being hungry and wanted to get something to eat, but too lazy to get stuffs. It was sweet. Still catching up where we left off yesterday and the months we were wondering why I did not talk more to her.
Things are looking up into something I don't know, but made me excited and really interested about her. The unknown is intriguing, and it made me become what I am before series of things happened to me and altered me into a weird person (if I'm not already am from the start) and got socially awkward. So, it shone some light up my alley, getting interested and intrigued does makes people think of ideas.

Two Thousand Twelve, October, Fourteenth, My place
It was a hot day, and a long one too. It started early, but it was fun. I get the my first chance to wear a Balinese outfit, Kain, Udeng, and all. Went to a friend's place for a ceremony. It was a hot day. went back to my place in the scorching heat. We ate a full set lunch, and got ice cream. Taken a picture of us with my Lubitel 166B, hope it works. we spend the afternoon relaxing and talking and do some stuffs. Lazy day.
It was fun. We talked about goals and achievements and study plans and feelings and almost every other stuffs.
Things are sweet now, but I figure, If it doesn't get anywhere better for me from now, nothing will. So starting inside, don't give up. Follow your heart, you'll be okay.

My mind is on an overdrive tonight, distracted by the hot night and text I'm getting from my mom.
I'll continue later. Patience my friends :)

Let's Get Rich and Get Everybody Nice Sweaters

"If we can't be forever, can we at least be together?" was a tweet I saw tonight by @daprast, retweeted by @JennyJusuf.

Tonight playlist will be dedicated to Jason Mraz - I melt with you. I might not be able to stop the world, but I can see changes and it's getting better. So, instead of being afraid, let's just try to embrace and disrupt what the world might bring. Keeping things at arm's reach. And continue my story.






Two Thousand Twelve, June, Third, Lingkara.
We were just hanging around and chatting, also attending the exhibition, being the host. One thing leads to another, out of the blue, I asked my friend for the girl's number (finally). She came by, just after I asked. picking up her friends and going again. That night, we started to chat. It feels like a dam of thoughts just broke, all this time of just keeping to ourselves has changed after a simple hi. That night, her car broke down, just around her house. I wish I could help, but it was a half hour drive. She got her dad to help out. This is the beginning of a series of smiles in my face and inside my head, not a smooth sailing, but filled with tiny storms and blue skies.

Two Thousand Twelve, October, Eleventh, My Place.
When the clock struck midnight yesterday, she texted me. Due to the previous things that had been happening, I got a little paranoid. But then, it turned out that she was gonna talk about some things out of the usual weekly/monthly breakdown. I saw a glimpse of light in her words. It's still no smooth sailing, but as a friend of mine said, the sea is something that you have to respect, and you will get to land. And I'm getting all philosophical here, but I'm not spilling things out here, so I don't jinx it. Without saying anything about it, can I just say that I just gain some extra energy to get on with life, and try my best to level things up, to the point where I can be proud of myself, and get everybody nice sweaters...

So, a start is always full of energy, it's how we keep it steady that is the real challenge. And I don't want to get stuck in second gear. First thing first, keep on writing and keep on moving. and Be Ok. So maybe you won't get bored reading...

Time, The Big Break

I took a break for almost a week now, I went on hiatus and got a little out of shape. No worries, because now I'm back again, focusing on the continuation of my story about the girl. I hope you're still reading.
Tonight soundtrack consist of various songs, but I will dedicate it to Moloko - The Time Is Now, you can watch the clip here. Time is the essence here, and it took some time to get to this moment.






Two Thousand Twelve, May, Thirtieth, early night, Lingkara Gallery PhotoArt.
It's minus two days before A Lomonesia Bali Exhibition in Denpasar. We were setting up photos and installations. I was just helping out, did not have any photos to display at the moment, or is it some other problems. Already I'm implying some matters rising. Back to the preparation, so fifteen Lomographers are exhibiting their work, each with their own concepts and displays. One of them got this concept called "tree of life" CMIIW. She got a fake tree made out of wires, wrap it up with green papers, and hang the photos as the leaves. She got her friend helping her out installing it, whom is the girl I have been meeting randomly for almost 8 months. And we are still meeting randomly, we known each other for that long and I don't even have her number. We just talk about how we're doing and smile to each others. I notice that my heart skip a beat and all I want to do was getting her attention. I did, then we part ways, it was getting late. Everyone is getting ready for the exhibition the day after tomorrow. This is the exhibition video lomonesia bali at lingkara

Two Thousand Twelve, October, Ninth, late night, My place.
Just had a conversation with her, talking about her dog. He got fleas and it's getting worse. I wish I could help, I like dogs, and I like hers. He's a Kintamani Dog with an attitude, and yet somehow we are friendly to each others after a few encounter.

And then we continued talking about my writing, how I don't seem to have focus on stuffs. The things that I write here are simply unorganized, messy, sometimes I write everyday, and then I stopped writing. Sometimes I write about my daily life, and then some random information, pictures, other time it's just some jumbled words. So, I figure it's about time that I make an outline out of it. Focus on things. Keep the readers happy, and keeping myself organized, projecting it to my life, as it is.
By doing so, it will gradually affect myself into a more stable person. Planning things ahead, focus on concepts and structures. And furthermore, getting things done, one at a time, mine and others that I care about.

In conclusion, I got an issue about participating in a group sometimes, and I have a problem on focusing, or even making a move. This will have to change. The time is now...
It will get more interesting from this point forward, I promise.